'Being Judgmental'

‘JUDGMENTAL’ is a big word. Even bigger are its repercussions. We all tend to judge people. To analyze them, scrutinize them, understand them. We try hard to interpret what they say, harder to interpret what they don’t. We judge on the basis on what we see, what we feel and what we hear. Seldom do we think that what we see, feel and hear, may not be the whole picture but just a small part of the big picture.

I take the train to office most of the days. The pathway to the station is lined with beggars on both sides. Some blind, some crippled, some paralyzed. At the foot of the over bridge, that led to the station, sat one old lady who was paralyzed from the bottom. . She presented a pathetic sight compared to all the other beggars since she could'nt walk or move on her own. I had a soft corner for her. Well most would, given her circumstances. I ended up dropping a coin in her box every time I made my way to the station. All the others were deprived of my sympathies cause I thought they were far better off than the poor old soul. In truth I wasn’t being sympathetic or wise, but just judgmental.

When I moved to my new house, I ended up making three new four legged friends. Jai, Palanivel and  Puppy. Jai and Palanivel were the male dogs while Puppy was an adult female Indian mongrel. There was nothing puppy-ish about her. She was the most bold of the lot .Quite ferocious and aggressive with strangers. While the males were a little laid back and sometimes callous about guarding or protecting the streets, puppy was always on the front. Whether it was a stray cow or a wandering pig that had entered our streets , all three would chase them away, but it was puppy who would lead the pack and chased them till the end of the street while the males would return back well before the immigrants were halfway through. No wonder, puppy with her bold attitude soon won our hearts and our confidence.All three dogs survived on scraps of food being left out by our neighbors after supper. Soon enough we too started feeding them on a regular basis. Since we already had a dog at home, cooking for three other strays was an arduous task, so we decided to feed one stray , apparently any one that would turn up for dinner at our gate.

Most evenings, puppy would turn up. One evening we saw a neighbor feeding puppy , so we decided to call in Jai or Palanivel. But puppy soon turned up at our gate. Dogs have their own rules and they very well know where to draw the line. Seeing puppy , both jai and palanivel backed off. We were surprised to see the males make way for a lady. We felt bad that two other dogs should be deprived of food, while this bitch kept eating all she could lay her hands on. So we decided to stop feeding her. Thereafter we started calling the other two dogs for food. If puppy turned up we would simply go back in , wait till she left and then give the food to one of the other two. 

This continued for two to three weeks , while puppy continued to visit our home every evening expecting us to change our minds. But unfortunately, she had lost our favor due to her greedy act. We now had soft corners for Jai and Palanivel and treated puppy more like a nuisance, till one day on my way back home I saw puppy hiding behind a neighbor’s garden. I casually made my way to the garden and peeped over the fence. I was unprepared for what i saw next. There in the mud lay three skinny pups cuddling up to their mom's chest and suckling milk. Puppy had littered. I stood speechless and numb. For weeks we had ignored puppy. We had deprived her of food when she needed it most. She had three puppies of her own who survived on nothing but their mother’s milk and we had taken her need for food as an act of a greedy dog. I hurried home and told mom who found it hard to believe till she came out and saw the pups. Puppy was paying a price for our being judgmental. Puppy’s supply of food was resumed, amidst our hope that it wasn’t too late and the pups would survive. 

 

That night, as I slept I realized what we had ended up doing. We are taught to be judgmental. To keep ourselves protected, to keep ourselves from being outsmarted. What we don’t realize is that once we start judging we just don’t stop, with judging people at work or in colleges. We start judging everyone, fellow travelers, people on the road, neighbors, in my case even beggars and dogs. The next morning as I made my way to station I observed each of the beggars. Each had a disability. Every beggar was helpless in his own way yet most continued to walk without glancing their way. As I reached the foot of the bridge I saw at least six people drop their coins into the old lady’s bowl. I turned back and realize d that all most everyone ignored the other beggars. While all their bowls stood empty hers was the only one brimming with coins. She was the same beggar who I felt deserved some sympathy. Apparently many others thought the same way. 

Unfortunately we were all wrong. She might have been the one with most issues. She did present a pathetic sight. But that did not give me or anyone else the right to decide that others didn’t deserve it as much as she did. We were judging based on what we saw. We have sympathies for the worst of the lot. Imagine if god decided to hear the prayers of the soul who was most affected, and ignore everybody else, would anyone of us even stand a chance. No, because somewhere down the line we know we are all better than somebody else. That we have issues and problems, but there’s somebody else who has a lot more to deal with. Being judgmental is not our job. Let’s leave it someone who is higher than us and better than us at judging. To someone who sees the bigger and the whole picture

...And as i post this blog, the loyal bitch who taught me all this, is happily and contentedly sleeping outside my gate.